A Bit of Background

I am a 29 year-old grad student in California, as is my partner. We met and fell in love while in school, and we are months away from graduation, but have no certain job prospects yet. We're both independent-minded, but committed to staying with each other through thick and thin.

Ever since the first day we met, it was obvious that we were meant for each other, and I mean that in the least cliche'd sense. I never believed that it would be possible to fall so deeply in love with someone in so short a time. The thing with being in the same grad school program, though, is that one month of "real-world" time is the equivalent of three months on the inside because we have so many more opportunities to see each other than "normal" people, who may meet at a gathering and then have to work around each other's schedules just to see each other once a week, or more if they're lucky.

We saw each other nearly every day, and spent as much time with each other as possible since the first. There have been none of the usual problems that we've faced in our earlier relationships, the criticizing and nagging, the misunderstandings, the unrealistic expectations. We somehow accepted each other and enjoyed exploring our similarities and differences, and made light of what differences of opinion existed. Our outlook on life, our goals, our desires, and our dreams were all compatible or complementary. It was, simply put, an amazing experience.

By the time we found out, we'd pretty much decided that we were meant to be together. What follows will, I suppose, be the test of that conviction. Everything has happened so quickly, and we're going through the experience as we speak.

My purpose in posting this blog is to provide other women out there with my own experience and share my thoughts with you. There are so many religion-driven pro-life sites out there masquerading as objective, informational sites for women facing one of the most painful and important decisions of their lives that I couldn't even bring myself to trust even the ones which looked legitimately like non-partisan or pro-choice informational sites. So many sites utilize scare tactics and are dishonest about the state of development of the embryo/fetus during the first trimester, and so many are geared toward the young, alone, and frightened.

I am none of the above, except perhaps frightened. I am almost 30 years old; I have formed my own decision on the abortion debate over the years; I have the full support of my partner in my choice; I do not fear the wrath of God, for I believe that we are here to be accountable to ourselves and those whose lives we touch, not some intangible entity which exists in countless permutations in the minds and hearts of hundreds of millions of people.

Personally, I believe that I am a pro-life Pro-Choicer, not because of any religious affiliation (I was raised as a Buddhist and have consciously chosen to continue on that path as I grew older and was exposed to other religions), but because I believe that every life has the right to the most favorable circumstances possible for its existence, including those which already exist (aka pregnant women). I am even more staunchly Pro-Choice now than ever before because I cannot even comprehend what it would be like to have this very private, personal decision taken from me, either in the form of forced termination *or* forced pregnancy to term.

That being said, I'll talk about the events of the past couple of weeks and how this mistake came about. I will be honest, and I will admit my errors freely not only for my own benefit, but for that of my partner, and for anyone who might come across this blog and who may take away a few lessons from my mistakes.